“Who Tells Your Story” Starts with Who You Made Room For

Hi Leaders,

Let’s name a quiet pattern that shows up in high-performing leaders:

You mean well.
You show up.
You carry the weight.

And without even realizing it, you’re everywhere: steering the meeting, tweaking the pitch, polishing the plan.

But if your team can’t move forward without you, that’s not leadership.
That’s dependency dressed up as excellence.

Here’s what neuroscience tells us:
When you take up all the space…offering the answer, jumping in with the fix, your team’s brain activity literally dims.

They don’t just lose energy.
They lose belief.
They start second-guessing the very strengths you hired them for.

The analyst who used to bring fresh insight? Now she waits for your take before sharing hers.

The manager with sharp instincts? He holds back, because he knows you’ll always have the final word anyway.

And over time?
They stop showing up with ideas.
They stop seeing themselves as leaders.
They start deferring. They doubt. They disappear.

Not because they aren’t capable.
But because they’ve been conditioned to believe that your voice matters more.

So what starts as “stepping in to keep things on track” turns into something else entirely:

A slow erosion of confidence.
A quiet breakdown of trust.
A team of bright minds waiting for permission to contribute.

It doesn’t feel harmful in the moment…after all, you’re just trying to help.
But over time, that pattern becomes costly.

We’ve talked about this before, it’s not leadership. It’s a bottleneck.
And it sends the message your team may never say out loud:

“You don’t trust us to lead.”

Real Ally Leadership Looks Different

Allyship isn’t about impressing people.
It’s not about being seen as the one who “lifts others up.”

It’s about being intentional…on purpose, in practice, and sometimes in the background.

Think about Hamilton.
Alexander fights to be remembered. Burr waits his turn.
But Eliza? She does the work that lasts.

She tells the stories no one else would tell.
She preserves the legacy.
She makes space without needing credit.

That’s Ally Leadership.
Not dominating the moment, but designing a room where others rise.

Put It Into Practice: Lead by Making Space

This month, pick one meeting or moment where you usually take the lead…and don’t.

Instead, pause.
Watch who’s ready to step in.
Notice who hesitates, even though they have something valuable to say.

Then do what ally leaders do:

→ Let Ideas Breathe
When a team member shares a thought, don’t rush to improve it. Let it stand. Let them carry it.

→ Resist the Fix-It Reflex
You’ll spot the gap. You’ll want to jump in. Don’t. Let the process unfold without your polish.

→ Name Their Contribution
Say who made the deck. Name who solved the problem. Don’t let your visibility erase their work.

→ Speak Less, Listen Longer
When you pause, others rise. When you wait, others contribute.

Because your legacy won’t be measured by how many rooms you led.
It will be measured by how many leaders grew in the rooms you made space for.

You’ve got this,
Stephanie
Your Ally in Leadership