When Leadership Gets Bigger Than the Role
The Cost, Responsibility, and Standards That Come With Being First
It’s February. Black History Month.
And before we talk about lessons, pressure, or performance, it matters to say this plainly:
History is not behind us.
It is happening right now.
Just last week, Kendrick Lamar became the most-awarded rapper in Grammy history. Not because the industry suddenly changed its standards, but because excellence eventually forces acknowledgment, even when the bar keeps moving.
Across business, media, sports, and public service, leaders are stepping into roles that didn’t previously make room for them.
I think about Thasunda Brown Duckett, whom I shared a stage with at the Global Leadership Summit, leading at scale in finance while refusing to trade composure for credibility.
I think about Cynthia Marshall, the first Black woman CEO in NBA history, who stayed long enough to prove that culture repair is not a distraction from performance, it is performance.
I think about Rashida Jones, the first Black executive to lead a major cable news network, shaping not just headlines, but how truth is handled when the pressure is real.
And I think about Raphael Warnock, Georgia’s first Black senator, serving in a role where leadership is measured not in rhetoric, but in consequence.
I’m not separate from these moments.
I’m part of them.
And that matters, because being “first” is often misunderstood…
In 2018, I was named president of a private aviation company, the first Black person to hold that role in the industry’s history.
Soon after the announcement, my team organized a watch party so we could experience the public moment together.
Popcorn. Licorice. Drinks.
It felt celebratory. Light.
What no one knew, including me, was that we would all be watching the televised announcement for the first time together.
So I stood in a room with hundreds of employees, watching myself on television, wondering whether I had just said something we were all about to regret in real time.
The clip ended.
And the room erupted.
Cheering. High-fives. Hugs.
What caught me off guard wasn’t the celebration.
It was who was celebrating.
Many of the people in that room did not look like me.
Many would never share my lived experience.
And yet they felt connected to what had just happened. Proud of it. Part of it.
I walked to the front of the room and said, “I hope I made you proud.”
A junior operations team member hugged me and said, “Steph, that was awesome.”
Then he turned to the room and said, “You know what, guys? We just made history.”
And the room answered, “Yeah. We did.”
That was the moment leadership got bigger than the role.
Here is the part most leaders don’t talk about.
Being first is not just an honor. It is a cost.
When you are first:
Your mistakes are remembered longer.
Your decisions are scrutinized harder.
Your tone is analyzed more than your intent.
And your leadership becomes a reference point, whether you asked for that or not.
There is no inherited benefit of the doubt.
No historical buffer.
No precedent to hide behind.
Fast climbers don’t always see this coming. They chase acceleration…speed, visibility, momentum.
But trailblazers learn something quickly.
You cannot sprint when you are also building the road.
Early in my presidency, I realized that if I chased speed, I would either burn out or compromise what mattered most. And when you are first, compromise doesn’t just affect you. It affects everyone who comes after you.
So I made a different decision.
I slowed down where it counted.
I focused on trust over optics.
Consistency over urgency.
Stability over speed.
Not because it looked impressive, but because endurance was the real requirement of the role.
That is the cost of being first.
You don’t get to lead for applause.
You lead to establish standards.
And those standards will outlast you.
I took last week off from this newsletter because I was speaking at the National Business Aviation Association Leadership Conference, and the conversations there reinforced this truth:
Pressure does not create leaders.
Pressure reveals what they pre-decided.
So here is the leadership question I want you sitting with this week:
What have you already decided about who you will be when the pressure is on?
Because when leadership gets bigger than the role:
People don’t listen for your explanations.
They watch your defaults.
They learn what really matters by what you protect first.
This month, we’re going to talk about leadership under pressure, the real cost of being first, why visibility is not power and influence is, how to lead when the system was not built for you, and how to think about legacy in a way that lifts others as you move forward.
But February starts here.
Not with celebration alone, but with responsibility.
Next Steps As You Move Forward
Black History Month is not just about recognition.
It’s about stewardship.
Stay connected.
Make sure you are subscribed so you don’t miss what’s coming next. If you want guaranteed access to future paid editions, this is a good time to upgrade your subscription.
If you lead people, ask yourself this:
Do my actions reinforce the standards I say matter, especially when it’s inconvenient?
If that question lands, take the Leadership Assessment to see where follow-through is strengthening trust and where it may be breaking down.
If influencing or selling is part of your role, ask yourself this:
Do I consistently do what I say I will do when the stakes are high?
If that feels familiar, take the Sales Assessment to understand how reliability and trust are showing up in your approach.
If consistency and credibility are affecting your results, watch my free sales training.
It breaks down how to rebuild momentum without relying on pressure.
→ Register for my free sales training
Bring Me Into the Room
From founder teams to Fortune 500s, I work with organizations ready to replace fear with trust and turn culture into a competitive edge.
January asked you to decide.
February asks you to carry the cost of leadership, on purpose.
Your Ally,
Stephanie