Hi Leaders,
In 2008, I got a phone call I never expected.
“You have breast cancer.”
No family history. No warning signs. My oncologist even called it a “drive-by” diagnosis. Out of nowhere, right in the middle of one of the toughest seasons of my career…selling private jets in the middle of an economic crash.
No one was buying. Stress was high. And then my body said: enough.
Naturally, that diagnosis didn’t just change me, it changed my family.
My daughter was still in high school. Suddenly she was making my meals, combing my hair, even walking me around the block when I didn’t have the strength. I remember thinking, If I don’t make it, at least I know she’ll be okay. I can already see the strength in her.
I went from powering through every challenge…forcing myself to keep going no matter the cost, to leaning on my teenage daughter just to get through the day. That season revealed what I had overlooked for years: lasting strength in leadership isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about learning when to pause.
Redefining Strength
In my leadership journey before I went through cancer, I thought strength meant proving myself. Outworking everyone else in the room. Pushing harder, faster, longer. But the cancer journey taught me a different kind of strength:
The courage to pause
The discipline to set boundaries
The humility to let others step in
And neuroscience confirms it: knowing better doesn’t rewire your brain, doing better does.
Your neurons don’t change because you attended a workshop…or read a newsletter. 😉
They change when you act differently, consistently, until the new pathway becomes the default.
It’s the difference between buying a treadmill and actually walking on it.
Knowledge is the “add to cart”. Action is the receipt.
In leadership, the same rule applies: insight opens the door, but only action gets you through it.
Your Check-Ins This Month
You shouldn’t need a crisis to reset how you lead. Take it from someone who made that the criteria for change… it’s not the kind of motivation you want.
So here’s your chance to act before burnout becomes the teacher. Just five quick check-ins:
Energy Check
Ask: Am I consistently exhausted, or do I feel restored during the week?
Action: Protect recovery time the same way you protect revenue time.
Boundary Check
Ask: Where am I saying yes when I should be saying no?
Action: Audit your calendar. Circle one commitment you can decline or renegotiate.
Delegation Check
Ask: Am I the bottleneck?
Action: Hand off one task this week and give someone else the chance to grow.
Empathy-for-Yourself Check
Ask: Would I expect this pace from someone I lead?
Action: Align the care you extend to others with the care you extend to yourself.
Mirror Neuron Check
Ask: What emotions am I modeling most days?
Action: Notice your tone in your next meeting. Your team is wired to mirror it.
Your Next Step
The lesson here is simple:
Strength without care burns you out.
Empathy without strength leaves you ineffective.
Together? Confidence + compassion = trust.
You don’t have to wait for a life-altering phone call to reset your leadership, trust me, you don’t want to. This week, don’t just read these check-ins…test-drive even just one. Before your next meeting, pick a single action and put it into motion.
Because neuroscience doesn’t budge: your team’s brains are wired to mirror you. Show up frazzled, and they’ll mirror chaos. Show up steady, and they’ll mirror calm.
Think of it like being on a plane: if the leader looks like the panicked passenger gripping the armrest, everyone else freaks out. But if you’re the flight attendant pouring Diet Coke during turbulence, everyone breathes easier.
That’s the difference between a team that just weathers the storm and a team that grows stronger because of it.
What to Expect This Month
All month long, we’re unpacking one critical truth: pressure doesn’t create performance, trust does.
We’ll lean into the E.A.R.N. Leadership framework to show you how to:
Establish psychological safety that frees people to contribute their best.
Assure alignment so your team knows how their work drives results.
Rally people around a vision that inspires loyalty, not just compliance.
Navigate tough situations with clarity and care, turning conflict into opportunity.
This focus on leading with E.A.R.N. lays the foundation for where we’re headed next: selling with E.A.R.N. Because here’s the truth…until your own house is in order, your sales house will never stand.
Great leadership and great sales aren’t separate disciplines.
They’re connected. And it starts here.
This reflection is just the starting point. Inside these newsletters, I go beyond the story. I give you the exact scripts, habits, and systems that help executives lock these practices into daily leadership, so the check-ins don’t just inspire you, they stick.
If you’ve ever said, “I know I should, but I don’t,” this is where you’ll find the tools and accountability to change that.
→ Upgrade your subscription today and get the full leadership lesson: The Real Path From Pressure to Performance
To leading with strength and care,
Stephanie
