How to Be Trusted by People Who Don’t Know You Yet

Hi Leaders,

Here’s the question every team is asking…whether they say it out loud or not:

Why should we trust you?

Not why should we follow you.
Not why should we respect your résumé.
Why should we feel safe bringing our full selves to the table you lead?

If you’re stepping into a new role or leading across lines of differences…that question only gets louder.

And here’s the truth:
Your title won’t answer it.
Your good intentions won’t prove it.
And your charisma? It might carry the room for a minute…

But real trust?
It doesn’t come from performance.
It comes from pattern.

I say it in my book like this:

“The human brain is wired for patterns. It’s constantly scanning for signals of safety, or threats, based on what it’s experienced before.”

When your leadership is consistent, the brain relaxes.
When it’s unpredictable or performative, the brain flags it as a threat.
And just like that, psychological safety disappears.

So if you’re trying to build trust with people who don’t know you yet…don’t try to charm your way there.

Build a pattern they can believe in.
Because in leadership, people don’t remember your best speech.
They remember how safe they felt in your presence, and whether your actions matched your words.

Now let me show you how to build that kind of trust, step by step.